"Hey Mom, what if they combined Lego Spongebob with Aqua Raiders?" Zane, 8, is holding Gary the snail and a tiny submarine with a deep sea diver inside. He walks into the other room and I hear, "Oh no! A giant snail! Captain, reverse thrusters, fire harpoon gun."
My son has been playing with Legos in the den all morning. This wouldn't be noteworthy except that he hasn't played with Legos for the last week. It all started a month ago when I suggested he enter the Lego display contest at the State Fair. He spends so much time building Legos, mostly Bionicles. He makes up stories and whole mythologies to go with his creations. He is continually taking them apart and building new ones. It is a large part of what he does and who he is. He was interested when I mentioned Lego display. He readily agreed. I submitted the entry form and the required $2.
The display needed to be on a piece of board. We talked about settings and designs. I continued to bring it up regularly so he could think about it and plan for it. I sawed the board we would use for the project. He told me he wanted it to look like lava. So we worked on it one day. I painted it how he wanted. Then his interest vanished. He stopped planning for it or even playing with Legos. I tried not to keep reminding him. I didn't want to pressure him. I asked him if he felt pressured by the project. He said yes. But he still wanted to do it.
The deadline drew closer and he still wouldn't touch his Legos. He suddenly couldn't think of anything to do for the project. He couldn't find the right pieces. I offered to help him. At one point he was digging through the bin of pieces. He sighed and said, "I need a break." I need a break? from playing Legos? I knew he was struggling and paralyzed. Whatever the reason, I wasn't able to help him work through it. I had to ask myself why I needed him to do it. I let it go. The day before the Legos were due, he told me he didn't want to do it after all. I hid my disappointment, because it was mine. I worked through it later. It had something to do with wanting to impress relatives. So I got my head back in line with my values.
We'll go to the State Fair in a few weeks. We may even look at the Lego displays. Zane will be able to see what one is. And maybe he'll ask to do it next year. But it will have to be his idea, his desire, his motivation and his own pressure. Until then, the sound of hands tinkling through the Lego bin looking for just the right piece (to please himself and nobody else) is music to my ears.
My son has been playing with Legos in the den all morning. This wouldn't be noteworthy except that he hasn't played with Legos for the last week. It all started a month ago when I suggested he enter the Lego display contest at the State Fair. He spends so much time building Legos, mostly Bionicles. He makes up stories and whole mythologies to go with his creations. He is continually taking them apart and building new ones. It is a large part of what he does and who he is. He was interested when I mentioned Lego display. He readily agreed. I submitted the entry form and the required $2.
The display needed to be on a piece of board. We talked about settings and designs. I continued to bring it up regularly so he could think about it and plan for it. I sawed the board we would use for the project. He told me he wanted it to look like lava. So we worked on it one day. I painted it how he wanted. Then his interest vanished. He stopped planning for it or even playing with Legos. I tried not to keep reminding him. I didn't want to pressure him. I asked him if he felt pressured by the project. He said yes. But he still wanted to do it.
The deadline drew closer and he still wouldn't touch his Legos. He suddenly couldn't think of anything to do for the project. He couldn't find the right pieces. I offered to help him. At one point he was digging through the bin of pieces. He sighed and said, "I need a break." I need a break? from playing Legos? I knew he was struggling and paralyzed. Whatever the reason, I wasn't able to help him work through it. I had to ask myself why I needed him to do it. I let it go. The day before the Legos were due, he told me he didn't want to do it after all. I hid my disappointment, because it was mine. I worked through it later. It had something to do with wanting to impress relatives. So I got my head back in line with my values.
We'll go to the State Fair in a few weeks. We may even look at the Lego displays. Zane will be able to see what one is. And maybe he'll ask to do it next year. But it will have to be his idea, his desire, his motivation and his own pressure. Until then, the sound of hands tinkling through the Lego bin looking for just the right piece (to please himself and nobody else) is music to my ears.
